


I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

by Morpheus626



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morpheus626/pseuds/Morpheus626
Summary: Set in 1972, written for the DL server Bingo Card prompt-Crime AUtw for mentions of corpses, grave-robbing, and scientific study via dissection.Roger tries to make them (for himself and Freddie, as well as for the band) more money. However, the method is...not great, and it’s on Freddie to help get Roger out of the whole mess.Also, maybe they finally admit some Feelings to each other. Two birds one stone, and all that.
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11
Collections: Dork Lovers Server Challenges





	I Never Told You What I Do For A Living

“Roger?” Freddie asked as he walked into the flat.

“Hm?” 

Freddie stared at the rolled up carpet near the door. “Why are there shoes in that carpet?” 

Roger winced. “Ah. I’d forgotten to take those off. Sorry.” 

Freddie stared wide-eyed at the pair of dirt-covered shoes. “Roger?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t know quite how to say this politely,” Freddie said softly. “So I’m not going to. Is there a fucking body in that carpet?” 

Roger sighed. “Look, just don’t freak out-” 

“Did you kill them, whoever that is? Why? Roger, what the fuck-” 

“Did I not say ‘don’t freak out’?” Roger spat. “Yes, he’s dead, but no, I didn’t kill him.” 

Freddie stared at him in shock. “You say that as if it makes this all better!” 

“Well, it will, once I explain things,” Roger scoffed. “Come with me to take him where he needs to go, alright? You’ll understand everything then.” 

“I am not helping you move a corpse,” Freddie said. “I can’t believe you’d even ask me.” 

“I’m taking him to the school, and didn’t you say earlier you’d left some paints there anyway? I know you didn’t go to get them now, or you’d have in hand, and I know you want them for this weekend.” 

Freddie scowled. “You’d better have a good fucking explanation for this, or a good alibi for me if we get caught.” 

“I do,” Roger said. “At least, the former, I do. Not the latter. Help me get him out to the car, and I’ll tell you everything on the way.” 

\---

In the car, with body in its carpet safely in the backseat, Freddie bit back a gag at the smell. 

“Tell me now, before I vomit.” 

“Fine,” Roger sighed. “You know how we need money? For basically everything, and never have enough?” 

“Can’t really forget,” Freddie said. “So?” 

“Well,” Roger said, his fingers tapping the steering wheel. “The biology classes have run into...an old problem. That required an old solution. And the instructors aren’t asking questions, but they are paying cash, and I’m not saying it’s right, I don’t feel good about any of this-” 

“...grave-robbing?” Freddie guessed. “Please tell me you washed your hands before you touched anything at home, at least.” 

“I didn’t do that bit!” Roger muttered. “No, we’ve worked it out that I’m part of the distribution section of the chain. Some of the other students do the actual dirty work, find a way to get the body to me, I hold it for at least a few hours in case the empty grave somehow should get discovered right away, and then I get it to the instructors, who make sure to...do what they need to, so that no one latches on to connect the body with any news of grave-robbing that might arise. But they’re top notch, haven’t been caught yet.” 

Freddie pursed his lips. “And how much do you get for each body you bring?” 

“Amount can vary some,” Roger admitted. “But put it this way; I have enough from the first three drops that you somehow didn’t notice, that if the car needs a repair, or we have any sort of emergency; we’re covered safely.” 

“How did I not notice?” Freddie asked aloud, perhaps more to himself than to Roger. 

“In fairness to you,” Roger replied as he parked the car. “I usually get them tucked into the front closet before you get home. Why do you think I told you we couldn’t keep coats there anymore?” 

“Because you claimed you thought there was mold in the closet,” Freddie frowned. “Nothing...untoward is being done to these bodies, right?” 

“Just science,” Roger grinned. “And some of the instructors put it best; they used to have to do this all the time way back in the day. Granted, people didn’t like it and it wasn’t exactly legal at that point either, but we progressed as a people as a result!” 

“Did we, if we’re still grave-robbing?” 

Roger frowned. “Fair point. Look, I...you know I don’t really approve of this. But we need money, and the school needs subjects for the dissection studies we do, and if no one gets hurt or finds out...” 

He looked uneasy. “I know that if there’s something ‘else’ out there in the world, I’ll have to explain this to them. But as far as I know right now, there probably isn’t, and nothing happens after we die. So these are just...shells. What made them people are gone. Gone where, I can’t say, but they aren’t being hurt by what we’re doing now.” 

“Roger,” Freddie said sharply. “I think you know that isn’t true. Even if there’s nothing after this life...they had a certain way they wanted their body taken care of, after death. If they had wanted to donate it, they would have. Their families will go to their graves to mourn, and they’ll be mourning at an empty plot. I know that doesn’t sit right with you.” 

He had been avoiding making eye contact with Roger, but he turned his head at the sniffle that came from him. 

“It doesn’t. But what was I going to do? Everyone else in class had agreed to help out with it, and now that I know...I can’t imagine they’ll just let me go, and hope I keep it a secret. And I just wanted us to have money for food, for emergencies. Wasn’t setting out to hurt anyone, living or dead.” 

Freddie leaned over and hugged him tightly. “I know. You put on a good show to try and bluster through with this, but I know you too well. We’ll get you out of this.” 

“How on earth are you planning to do that?” Roger said, wiping away a tear. 

“I...don’t fully know,” Freddie admitted. “But we’re going to start by making this the last drop off you do, okay?” 

Roger nodded, and they finally got out of the car, carefully carrying the carpet between them. 

One of the biology instructors was waiting near a back door, all too ready for them. 

“Oh! Mr. Bulsara-” 

“Mercury,” Freddie interrupted sharply. “I changed it legally.” 

The instructor nodded. “My apologies. I didn’t know you were...in on this little work of ours.” 

“Roger let me in on it tonight,” Freddie said. “And I’m glad he did.” 

The instructor led them down a hall, and into the cooler for bodies and other specimens. “Ah! Well, we can always use another team member. We can’t pay you double unfortunately, not enough scratch to go around for that.” 

“That’s quite alright,” Freddie said, flexing his hands after they set the carpet with its body inside down on the nearest cooled table. He wanted badly for a sink, so he could scrub his hands until the skin flaked off. “Because we won’t be doing this again.” 

The instructor’s face went sour. “I’m sorry?” 

“This isn’t right,” Freddie said. “And you can keep on doing it if you wish; we won’t stop you, though we absolutely should. And someday, at the end of my life, I’ll have to reckon with that and the consequences of it. But at the very least, we won’t be a part of it anymore.” 

“Roger?” the instructor asked. “You’re your own man. You don’t have to go along with what this fai-” 

“Fuck off,” Roger spat. “We’re leaving.” 

He took Freddie by the hand and nearly dragged him back to the back door, then stopped. “Oh, and if something like that bothers you that much? You ought to know I’m as much a ‘fairy’ as he is.” 

The kiss was hard, and made Freddie take a step back. 

“So there! Keep this whole fucking operation to yourselves, and if you dare to say a fucking word about me or Freddie-” 

“Get out before I decide to find some way to fail you!” the instructor barked. 

“Oh, it would be a fucking honor to be out of your class, you-” 

“Okay,” Freddie managed to mumble, and gently pulled Roger outside. “Roger-” 

“What?” Roger asked, his face flushed, body tense with anger. 

“How did you know?” Freddie asked softly. “About me. I mean. And your instructor...” 

The anger fell away from Roger in the blink of an eye. “I...I’m sorry. I just sort of...if I’m wrong, then I’m sorry, and I’m sorry anyway for being presumptuous, that wasn’t right of me.” 

“You aren’t...you aren’t wrong,” Freddie sighed. “But I haven’t told anyone. Still been...figuring it all out, I guess. I don’t know how to put it. Making sure of myself, before telling Mary, or you, or anybody.” 

Roger nodded. “We should go, before he tries to rat us out for this, or worse.” 

The car ride home wasn’t exactly tense, but it was incredibly quiet. 

Only after they were in the flat, hands washed several times over, and clothing changed, did the conversation feel right to resume. 

“If I made you uncomfortable with what I did back there, please know how sorry I am,” Roger said. “It won’t happen again.” 

Freddie blushed. “I didn’t hate it, actually. Wouldn’t mind if it happened again. So long as it’s not during anymore grave-robbing related activities, at least.” 

“Definitely not during anything like that,” Roger said. “Thank you for shaking me out of that nonsense. Should never have gone along with it, no matter the money or the pressure from the rest of them. I don’t...you won’t tell Brian or John about it, will you?” 

“Not unless you say you want it shared with them,” Freddie said.

“And the police...” 

“I’m complicit in this too, after tonight,” Freddie said. “So...maybe, instead of out and out telling them, we could leave an anonymous tip that they may want to keep an eye on the cemeteries and graveyards.” 

“You know if they get caught, they’ll rat us out though,” Roger said. 

Freddie nodded thoughtfully. “I don’t like the idea of saying nothing at all. But you make a good point.” 

“Maybe we could do something to stop it,” Roger said, and grinned. 

“What on earth have you got planned?” 

\---

“Roger-” 

“Whisper!” Roger whispered sharply. “They’ll hear us.” 

“How sure are you this is going to work?” Freddie whispered back. 

They were hidden behind two close trees, in the cemetery that Roger knew his classmates were using as a source for the grave-robbing scheme. 

“It should, neither of them like horror movies, and only agreed to do this for the money,” Roger said softly. “The one even keeps a crucifix on him! Like the body’s going to jump up and grab him and that of all things would keep it away.” 

Freddie nodded. “So this should be easy.” 

“You’ve done us up incredibly well,” Roger said. “Got scared seeing myself in the mirror before we left. Those idiots, seeing us in the dark, walking at them like zombies? They’ll probably piss themselves.” 

“And the grave-robbing will stop?” 

“No one else would agree to do this portion of it except for these two,” Roger replied. “There’ll be no one to take over, so it should stop dead.” 

After a pause they both giggled. 

“Sorry. Poor word choice,” Roger smiled. “Oh, there they are!” 

The two students already looked nervous as they approached a grave not far from them, shovels in hand. 

“I don’t like this,” the taller one muttered. “I know they’re watching us.” 

“No one is watching us,” the shorter one scoffed. “Don’t be fucking paranoid, because you make me paranoid when you do that!” 

“Now?” Freddie mouthed to Roger.

Roger shook his head. 

“Someone is fucking watching us!” the taller one shouted. 

“Will you shut the fuck up?!” the shorter one spat. “Or someone will catch us, and call the police, and I’ll trip you if it means I get away!” 

“Lovely, real kind of you,” the taller one said, clearly hurt. 

Roger darted out from behind the tree, and stood stock-still, staring the two of them down. 

“What the fuck?” Freddie heard them ask aloud, all at once, and he took his cue to do the same. 

He tried to put every ounce of anger he had over the whole scheme into his glare. The makeup he’d done on both of them had to help (the closest he could manage to zombie/deadesque), but he knew just as much would come from them and what they did. 

“I’m going,” the taller one said. “Nope, this is not happening; I am not dying here!” 

“It’s just some fucking kids,” the shorter one said, and started to push his shovel into the grass and dirt of the grave. 

Roger was off like a shot, moving faster than anything dead ever should, but Freddie had a feeling he was banking on that being unexpected enough to scare them. 

And for the taller one, it was more than enough.

He took off, blathering apologies for “disturbing their rest”, with Roger hot on his heels, and it took everything within Freddie not to break character and laugh. 

The shorter one was looking his way, and pulled a medium-sized crucifix from his pocket. 

“Yeah, you see this? Bet you’ll stay away now; I know how this works!”

He had at least two options. One, where he simply could slowly approach the student, and unnerve him.

But the other was much more fun.

He took Roger’s approach, and darted towards the shorter student, weaving in between gravestones. 

The student took a step back, but didn’t run. 

All the better, as Freddie snatched the crucifix from him, and snapped it in half. 

The student’s face drained of color, and he took off, shoveling banging against the ground as he dragged it behind him. 

He waited until the student was far enough away to relax the menacing look on his face, and shake out the tenseness in his muscles. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled to the broken crucifix. “I mean, I’m not...well, that’s neither here nor there right now, is it? In any case, no ill will meant towards you and yours. I needed to stop him from doing anymore of this robbing, and...war has causalities, you know?” 

The bits of wood and metal didn’t answer him, but Roger did call over to him from a ways away. 

“They’re gone! We did it!” 

“Truly?” Freddie shouted as he jogged over to Roger. “They’ll stop now?” 

“They’re terrified,” Roger replied with a grin. “Planning to go find our instructor now, and tell them they can’t do it anymore. That they’ve “done horrible damage, and fear for their souls.”” 

“I can’t speak on souls,” Freddie said. “But there has been damage done, with all this.” 

“I know,” Roger said. “Still, a victory?” 

Freddie nodded. “Shall we go home and get this all off of us?” 

Roger pointed to the crucifix. “What are we going to do with that?” 

“...Do you think they’ll be at the school for a bit?” Freddie asked, a mischievous grin on his face. 

\---

“Does this count as our first date?” Roger asked as they positioned the bits of the crucifix on the windshield of the students’ car. It was parked near the same back door they’d used before, luckily, though there was no telling if the instructor was still there, or how long they had before they might get caught near it. 

“I would say yes,” Freddie replied, grabbing Roger’s hand as they raced away from the school, the back door handle starting to turn. “But I like to do dinner on dates.” 

“You bought me dinner one of the first nights we met,” Roger smiled. “Should we count that?” 

“Could do,” Freddie replied. “But I’d rather do this: we get home, wash up, get some sleep-” 

“It has been a long, tiring night, hasn’t it?” Roger interrupted with a yawn, swinging Freddie’s hand as they turned onto their block.

Freddie nodded. “And then once we wake up, we can go get dinner and bring it back to the flat. That one, we can count as our first official date.” 

“You really know how to romance a boy,” Roger teased as he led the way to the front door, key in his free hand. “Breaking me out of a grave-robbing scheme, scaring some assholes with me. Can I expect this excitement all the time?” 

“You’ve lived with me and worked with me for how long,” Freddie laughed. “Of course you can. But no more grave-robbing.” 

“No,” Roger agreed as they kicked their shoes off and flopped onto the couch. “Say, do you think we could pull this makeup off onstage? Just for one show, I mean, to see the reaction-” 

Freddie interrupted him with a kiss. “I think you certainly could.” 

Roger blushed so brightly it was visible where the patches of make up were less thick, and it was positively the best thing to see, as the sun peeked in through the drapes of the front window. 


End file.
